Nanowrimo starts tomorrow. I'll keep a link to my story. Is it wierd that I am writing part II before part I?
Being a Canafantine warrior can create a lot of difficulties in your personal life. Faker bodies ignore the difficulties.
Philosophy Thursday - More about Angstish
Being anti-establishment is stupid if you’re only doing it for anti-establishment’s cause. I also don’t think extremism is valid anti-establishment behavior. They think if you aren’t with them you must be against them. They say there can be no passion in the middle ground. Why not?
Passion fruits are ugly.
Art Wednesday - Angstish
No legitimate art today. I’m too disgusted by the prevailing false philosophy of modern artists who claim a right to the freedom of established art because of the absurd conclusion that developing beauty must be avant-garde. Their hypocritical extremism is supposed to uphold their new dichotomous metropolitan bohemianism as if they could conform to some standard of nonconformity.
Here is my satirical attempt at their style. I call this picture angstish: a beautiful combination of anger, and anxiety (I made up that word by the way).
Here is my satirical attempt at their style. I call this picture angstish: a beautiful combination of anger, and anxiety (I made up that word by the way).
Music Tuesday - Never Mentioned
I never mentioned the Caesars, Dr. Octagon, Muse, Powder, and Subtle (all on Seeqpod)
Classics: 311, Beck, Blur, Gorillaz, Chump, Fatboy and Skank (Brazilian)
Classics: 311, Beck, Blur, Gorillaz, Chump, Fatboy and Skank (Brazilian)
This looks like a halloween helmet I may have made. I didn't make this one.
Scripture Monday - Babylon
People of one heart and one mind are named after the ancient city of holiness: Zion. Todd D. Christofferson says the antithesis and antagonist of Zion is Babylon, named after the ancient city of worldliness, sexual sin, decadence and spiritual bondage (decadence is having excessive money with no sense of responsability).
We have instructions on how to build Zion among Babylon. 
Ride With The Yellow Bus
Seldom has someone with so little to say said so much to so few people as I have said on this silly site.
Say that ten times fast.
Say that ten times fast.
Music Tuesday - Disney vs Looney Tunes
If I ever get hired by Disney to write the screenplay for Fantasia 2010, I will propose Offenbach’s Orpheus in the Underworld. The movie would depict loveable Disney characters carrying hammers, pick axes, and baseball bats in pursuit of Warner Brothers cartoon characters. Who would win: Mickey or Bugs, Donald or Daffy, Goofy or Foghorn Leghorn? I’ll take a tip from Over the Hedge and feed Chip and Dale and Scrooges nephews some redbull and I’m sure they could catch up to The Road Runner. I'm not quite sure Tink could take on Tweety though.
But just when you think Porky Pig will be the last one standing, out pops every villain Disney ever created: Maleficent turns into a dragon and cooks the little ham. Then you see the whole WB cast including Batman, Pinky and the Brain, Michael Jordan and the Aliens from Space Jam pop out of a little black hole in the floor. The watcher of this short movie would surely panic when every single Disney Character from every single animated Disney cartoon pops on the screen. There would be a new world record for the most anvils thrown in a 9 minute short movie.
That is such an inspirational song.
But just when you think Porky Pig will be the last one standing, out pops every villain Disney ever created: Maleficent turns into a dragon and cooks the little ham. Then you see the whole WB cast including Batman, Pinky and the Brain, Michael Jordan and the Aliens from Space Jam pop out of a little black hole in the floor. The watcher of this short movie would surely panic when every single Disney Character from every single animated Disney cartoon pops on the screen. There would be a new world record for the most anvils thrown in a 9 minute short movie.
That is such an inspirational song.
Scripture Study Mondy - Hope
I read Elder Uchtdorf’s talk on Hope. Hope is hard for me to define because the definition seems so similar to the definition of Faith. I think that Hope is a feeling that you are on the right track based on meeting qualifications. I have Faith that I can be saved by the atonement of Christ, but I have no hope of being saved without qualifying myself first. The qualifications include faith, baptism, receiving the Holy Ghost and being obedient to the end. Faith is relying on Christ, Hope is qualifying yourself and Charity is helping others qualify. 
Art Wednesday - Sleeping Watercolor
It took me forever to find this painting by my brother-in-law. I love the form and texture of the watercolors. 
Music Tuesday - Arctic Monkeys
Come on! Couldn't they have come up with a better name? Decent music. Lousy name. With so many different primates and cool locations, couldn't they have called them selves the Polar Simians or the Permafrost Baboons. Seeqpod - Arctic Monkeys Flourescent Adolescent.
Scripture Monday - "Come What May, and Love It"
A great conference talk by Elder Wirthlin: Come What May, and Love It.
Writing Friday - More Absurd Mood Changers
3. OLD ABSURD MCDONALD: This fit of absurd rage requires ample stretching so that you won’t pull a muscle. Find a place that is full of people and jump up on a table or ledge and un-tuck your shirt. A chair is too small unless you have two chairs next to each other. Once you are standing on top of your platform, spread your legs a little farther than shoulder width apart, point your toes out and bend your knees about half way. Then lean forward, and look up. Next, drop both arms strait down from your shoulders and make fists. Start rocking from side to side by bringing one foot about 8 inches off the platform, then rock back and bring the other foot about 8 inches off the platform. For each rock, you will need to bring your arms up and down like you are pumping up a bicycle tire. Make sure when you bend your elbows that they are as far forward as possible. Another important part of this dance is the smile. You should always be showing as much teeth as possible at all times and never let your teeth close in your mouth. It also helps to rock your head from side to side in rhythm with the pumping of your arms. Once you have the dance down, start into a loud rendition of “Old McDonald.” The first animal Old McDonald has is a mule, with a loud “HEE-HAW” here and a “HEE-HAW” there… then, don’t finish the song. Just stand up straight, step down from the platform and walk off.
4. ABSURD ALTER EGO CAT FIGHT: This is a short dialog between you and your alter ego. Prepare by having a towel tucked into your back pocket and a glass of water:
“Hey, I’m talking to you!” you say to yourself in an annoyed tone.
You turn around looking shocked that someone would talk to you so rudely in such a public place and point to your self as if you are confirming that your alter ego is talking to you and not someone else. It is okay to look around at the other people in the room with an innocent expression, as if you don’t know what your alter ego is taking about.
You turn back around and your alter ego says, “yeah you, pinhead! I heard what you said about me yesterday!”
You turn back and your look of shock turns to a look of disgust as you reply to your alter ego by saying, “Yeah, well I meant it when I said you look like a warthog. So what’cha gonna do about it? Huh?”
You spin back around and your alter ego looks disgusted at your other ego. You take the cup of water and begin to throw it at the person in front of you, but before you let the water go …
You spin around and throw the water in your own face. You gasp because the water is cold and you look with the most contemptuous glance you can at your alter ego and storm off out of the room, but about five feet away, you turn around, point at your alter ego, still standing there where the fight broke out and you yell, “this isn’t over honey. You better watch your back. I know where you sit.” You give a menacing smile and turn around to leave.
But instead of leaving, you take one step to the side, pull out the towel from your back pocket dry off your face, look around at everyone else in the room and say apologetically, “I’m sorry, they have both been going through a lot lately, with the new medication and all.” Then turn and follow the wet alter ego through the door.
4. ABSURD ALTER EGO CAT FIGHT: This is a short dialog between you and your alter ego. Prepare by having a towel tucked into your back pocket and a glass of water:
“Hey, I’m talking to you!” you say to yourself in an annoyed tone.
You turn around looking shocked that someone would talk to you so rudely in such a public place and point to your self as if you are confirming that your alter ego is talking to you and not someone else. It is okay to look around at the other people in the room with an innocent expression, as if you don’t know what your alter ego is taking about.
You turn back around and your alter ego says, “yeah you, pinhead! I heard what you said about me yesterday!”
You turn back and your look of shock turns to a look of disgust as you reply to your alter ego by saying, “Yeah, well I meant it when I said you look like a warthog. So what’cha gonna do about it? Huh?”
You spin back around and your alter ego looks disgusted at your other ego. You take the cup of water and begin to throw it at the person in front of you, but before you let the water go …
You spin around and throw the water in your own face. You gasp because the water is cold and you look with the most contemptuous glance you can at your alter ego and storm off out of the room, but about five feet away, you turn around, point at your alter ego, still standing there where the fight broke out and you yell, “this isn’t over honey. You better watch your back. I know where you sit.” You give a menacing smile and turn around to leave.
But instead of leaving, you take one step to the side, pull out the towel from your back pocket dry off your face, look around at everyone else in the room and say apologetically, “I’m sorry, they have both been going through a lot lately, with the new medication and all.” Then turn and follow the wet alter ego through the door.
Philosphy Thursday - Work Worth a Crap
I've heard the term used to describe glue, computer software, baking products. It goes like this: "this remote control doesn't work worth a crap". Most people would undervalue their daily bi-product and would likewise correlate other objects that are equally useless and fetid, like my cell phone.
Instead of leaving a present for the next guy at work, I ended up flushing three times and said outloud, "this toilet doesn't flush worth a crap." I almost laughed, because it didn't actually work with a crap. 
Art Wednesday - Purple Zord for Myles
I'll mess around with coloring this later. This is for Mylie's coloring book.
Music Tuesday - Queens of the Stone Age
Queens of the Stone Age - good songs: 3's and 7's, Make It Wit Chu ... they are all pretty good.
Actually, they aren't that good. I just happen to listen to them last week when work turned my brain to applesauce. I just don't have the musical prowess to know if something is good or if it is just a catchy tune. Good. Good? How would I define good music?
Actually, they aren't that good. I just happen to listen to them last week when work turned my brain to applesauce. I just don't have the musical prowess to know if something is good or if it is just a catchy tune. Good. Good? How would I define good music?
Scripture Study Monday - Zion Theme
I always look for themes during conference weekend. A couple weeks ago, we studied about Zion in the Joseph Smith manual in Elder's Quorum. The lesson discussion centered around how at the time, Zion wasn't established because there wasn't enough unity, righteousness and consecration among the early saints (Moses 7:18). It seemed like that was the theme for this conference: Unity, Personal Righteousness and Service.
This will probably be a topic of study for the next couple weeks. Almost completely unrelated: here is a picture of Zion National Park.
This will probably be a topic of study for the next couple weeks. Almost completely unrelated: here is a picture of Zion National Park.
It isn't an Alien, its an Octopus
Here is yesterdays ultrasound of kid #3.
Here is the ultrasound for kid #1.
Here is the ultrasound for kid #1.
Writing Friday - Small Collection of Absurd Mood Changers
I wrote this collection about four years ago for my sister. I'm only posting 2 of the 13 so that you'll have something to look forward to:
1. SEXY GIRAFFE ABSURDITY: One way to really cheer your self up is to do something completely absurd in front of a bunch of people. For example, you could walk all sexy like up to a pillar or a wall or something and start kissing and caressing the wall then say, "Oh, I've always wanted to meet a really nice giraffe, but I never thought I'd meet one that was so handsome." Then spank the giraffe (wall or pillar) like you are whacking it on the fanny and whisper, "We'll finish this after work." Give it a wink and a seductive smile then go get a cold glass of water.
2. 007 ABSURD RAGE: Run down the hall on your tippy toes, and right before the hall comes to a "T" do a running summer salt and stop on your haunches with your pistol fingers pointing down the hall as if to shoot a bad guy. Then quickly turn around and aim the other way, just in case the bad guy is behind you. If you see him, make a gun noise. Then pretend you are out of bullets and dodge a couple of the bad guy’s shots. Now comes the fun part, smile really big at the bad guy and pull your machine gun off your backpack and liter the walls with bullet holes. You have to make the machine gun noises. When you are done, laugh, wipe the spit from your mouth (sometimes making a lot of machine gun noises makes you slobber) and say, "Yeah, you like that? Well I got more were that came from, sucka" (you gotta say it as if you were a black lady with attitude.) Blow the smoke off you machine gun, put it back in your back pack and walk back to your desk whistling the theme song of the Andy Griffith Show. If by chance you run out of machine gun bullets, don't worry, you still have your rpg launcher (rpg = rocket propelled grenades...they sound like missiles.) Some people's hand guns sound like lasers. Andi makes horrible gun noises. Your gun is not a laser, it is a semi-automatic 45. Oh yea baby, that thing has got some kick to it, so make sure you recoil after each shot or it won't look real. And feel free to be spontaneous. You never know when the bad guy might through a knife at you and you will have to catch it and through it back.
2. 007 ABSURD RAGE: Run down the hall on your tippy toes, and right before the hall comes to a "T" do a running summer salt and stop on your haunches with your pistol fingers pointing down the hall as if to shoot a bad guy. Then quickly turn around and aim the other way, just in case the bad guy is behind you. If you see him, make a gun noise. Then pretend you are out of bullets and dodge a couple of the bad guy’s shots. Now comes the fun part, smile really big at the bad guy and pull your machine gun off your backpack and liter the walls with bullet holes. You have to make the machine gun noises. When you are done, laugh, wipe the spit from your mouth (sometimes making a lot of machine gun noises makes you slobber) and say, "Yeah, you like that? Well I got more were that came from, sucka" (you gotta say it as if you were a black lady with attitude.) Blow the smoke off you machine gun, put it back in your back pack and walk back to your desk whistling the theme song of the Andy Griffith Show. If by chance you run out of machine gun bullets, don't worry, you still have your rpg launcher (rpg = rocket propelled grenades...they sound like missiles.) Some people's hand guns sound like lasers. Andi makes horrible gun noises. Your gun is not a laser, it is a semi-automatic 45. Oh yea baby, that thing has got some kick to it, so make sure you recoil after each shot or it won't look real. And feel free to be spontaneous. You never know when the bad guy might through a knife at you and you will have to catch it and through it back.
Philosophy Thursday - Police Shootout
A friend who is a cop thinks cops shouldn't have to wait till they are assaulted in order to pull and fire a gun. Give them more freedom to shoot who they want and you will have two outcomes, more cop killers, vigilante cops and innocent people killed by a cop who acts as the plaintiff, judge and jury. I guess that was three reasons.
Also, I think warfare is a different story.
Also, I think warfare is a different story.
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