3. OLD ABSURD MCDONALD: This fit of absurd rage requires ample stretching so that you won’t pull a muscle. Find a place that is full of people and jump up on a table or ledge and un-tuck your shirt. A chair is too small unless you have two chairs next to each other. Once you are standing on top of your platform, spread your legs a little farther than shoulder width apart, point your toes out and bend your knees about half way. Then lean forward, and look up. Next, drop both arms strait down from your shoulders and make fists. Start rocking from side to side by bringing one foot about 8 inches off the platform, then rock back and bring the other foot about 8 inches off the platform. For each rock, you will need to bring your arms up and down like you are pumping up a bicycle tire. Make sure when you bend your elbows that they are as far forward as possible. Another important part of this dance is the smile. You should always be showing as much teeth as possible at all times and never let your teeth close in your mouth. It also helps to rock your head from side to side in rhythm with the pumping of your arms. Once you have the dance down, start into a loud rendition of “Old McDonald.” The first animal Old McDonald has is a mule, with a loud “HEE-HAW” here and a “HEE-HAW” there… then, don’t finish the song. Just stand up straight, step down from the platform and walk off.
4. ABSURD ALTER EGO CAT FIGHT: This is a short dialog between you and your alter ego. Prepare by having a towel tucked into your back pocket and a glass of water:
“Hey, I’m talking to you!” you say to yourself in an annoyed tone.
You turn around looking shocked that someone would talk to you so rudely in such a public place and point to your self as if you are confirming that your alter ego is talking to you and not someone else. It is okay to look around at the other people in the room with an innocent expression, as if you don’t know what your alter ego is taking about.
You turn back around and your alter ego says, “yeah you, pinhead! I heard what you said about me yesterday!”
You turn back and your look of shock turns to a look of disgust as you reply to your alter ego by saying, “Yeah, well I meant it when I said you look like a warthog. So what’cha gonna do about it? Huh?”
You spin back around and your alter ego looks disgusted at your other ego. You take the cup of water and begin to throw it at the person in front of you, but before you let the water go …
You spin around and throw the water in your own face. You gasp because the water is cold and you look with the most contemptuous glance you can at your alter ego and storm off out of the room, but about five feet away, you turn around, point at your alter ego, still standing there where the fight broke out and you yell, “this isn’t over honey. You better watch your back. I know where you sit.” You give a menacing smile and turn around to leave.
But instead of leaving, you take one step to the side, pull out the towel from your back pocket dry off your face, look around at everyone else in the room and say apologetically, “I’m sorry, they have both been going through a lot lately, with the new medication and all.” Then turn and follow the wet alter ego through the door.
4. ABSURD ALTER EGO CAT FIGHT: This is a short dialog between you and your alter ego. Prepare by having a towel tucked into your back pocket and a glass of water:
“Hey, I’m talking to you!” you say to yourself in an annoyed tone.
You turn around looking shocked that someone would talk to you so rudely in such a public place and point to your self as if you are confirming that your alter ego is talking to you and not someone else. It is okay to look around at the other people in the room with an innocent expression, as if you don’t know what your alter ego is taking about.
You turn back around and your alter ego says, “yeah you, pinhead! I heard what you said about me yesterday!”
You turn back and your look of shock turns to a look of disgust as you reply to your alter ego by saying, “Yeah, well I meant it when I said you look like a warthog. So what’cha gonna do about it? Huh?”
You spin back around and your alter ego looks disgusted at your other ego. You take the cup of water and begin to throw it at the person in front of you, but before you let the water go …
You spin around and throw the water in your own face. You gasp because the water is cold and you look with the most contemptuous glance you can at your alter ego and storm off out of the room, but about five feet away, you turn around, point at your alter ego, still standing there where the fight broke out and you yell, “this isn’t over honey. You better watch your back. I know where you sit.” You give a menacing smile and turn around to leave.
But instead of leaving, you take one step to the side, pull out the towel from your back pocket dry off your face, look around at everyone else in the room and say apologetically, “I’m sorry, they have both been going through a lot lately, with the new medication and all.” Then turn and follow the wet alter ego through the door.
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